We had been anticipating taking Ellie out of the orphanage for so long, emotions building up with each of the twice daily visits to see her since November 24. We had the obligatory going away party in the morning (which felt so cruel to be doing for the kids being left behind) followed by a celebratory lunch out... which was interrupted by a phone call that no, the paperwork wasn't ready after the 15-day waiting period and we just had to wait. Except we didn't want to wait (I know in retrospect another day or two or even week or two doesn't seem like that long a time in the grand scheme of things). We didn't want Ellie to spend another night alone in a cold, dark orphanage! That day was supposed to be the day she was ours! We prayed and made some phone calls and through some miracles (yes, connections only God could have woven years and years earlier and I can't share here), we were on the road a few hours later, a screaming toddler in tow! We don't think she quit crying from the time we left Vlora until we stopped outside the pallati in Tirana (after all, she had never sat in a car seat before!). Once we were indoors, she settled down quite nicely on the bed like absolutely nothing was wrong!
Just now, as I type this, the light bulb clicks 'on' that had it been 'predictable', we would not have seen God's favor on our little girl yet again - those "God fingerprints" that we would need to look back on -- no, that we STILL need to look back on during those times when our eyes drift off Him.
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| Changing Ellie's clothes to bring her home! |
She is also beginning to understand that she had a life prior to coming home with us. I've wondered when this would happen, as this realization is coming a lot later than what I read is typical for children who were adopted. A few weeks ago as she was coming down from a meltdown she asked me through tears, "Why did you leave me in Albania? Why didn't you come for me sooner?" I tried to assure her we came just as fast as they would let us! A few days after that in children's church when someone innocently asked the kids as part of an illustration, "Remember when you were a baby and your parents took care of when you cried and needed things?", she (and another adoptive child) broke down in tears and had to leave.
While we can't erase the pain of her past, we can rejoice and celebrate who she is now. God has done such great things for her. Yesterday in church, the children's pastor gave the parents a review of what the kids have been studying in this unit on the book of Ruth. The big word they learned was "redeemed" and I think it's one of my favorite words in the English language. The definition he gave was this: something that was valuable, which lost its perceived worth and was made valuable again." While Ellie never, ever, lost her worth to her heavenly Father, we are so grateful that He redeemed a little, anonymous girl in an orphanage, through bringing her to our family, and we are praying and trusting that one day she will be redeemed again into an eternal family.
Ellie, you are our very precious daughter! I am so proud of who you are and how you are growing up! When you are around others you have a way of making people laugh and feel special. You are also very tenderhearted and compassionate. I see this most in your relationship with your brother. I appreciate how patient you are with Reni and nothing pleases me more than watching you two play happily together. I love how you help him up to places he couldn't go -- like the bed or the couch -- or how you try to be a good example for him. I love to see your curiosity and desire to learn, how you still ask me what things say when you can't read them yet yourself or how to say words in Albanian! You are also growing more confident and less fearful of new things. This is huge! Right now your interests line up a lot with your brother. The two of you like to identify "cute" and "cool" cars on the road and your favorite game is "dog catcher." At the end of the day, you two beg to fall asleep in the same room. As your stature increases, it's harder and harder to pick you up! These years are flying by! We are grateful for every day you are our girl and love you SO, so much.
Love, Mom.
2 comments:
Absolutely love this. Your heart is beautiful. I can relate to a ton of what you say. I cannot wait to meet up this summer and be able to talk with you. Thanks for sharing with us all.
I remember so well praying on that day for your car ride. It makes me cry that she is realizing some things that are making her sad. I will be praying that you are given the right words for her to understand and healing for her in those areas. Please give my precious friend a hug.
Love,
Laurie
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