Awkward Questions, Beautiful Truths

One of the chapters in Russell Moore's book Adopted for Life is subtitled "What some rude questions  about adoption taught me about the Gospel of Christ."  After reading the chapter, I thought about questions I have been asked about adoption.  Thankfully, we live in a wonderfully accepting and supportive community, and have rarely faced some of the insensitive questions many adoptive families endure.  In fact, most of our friends and acquaintances have rejoiced with us in our adoptions with the same awe and wonder at the miracle of our kids as we have.  However, recently I had the following conversation with an acquaintance to whom the concept of adoption is still clearly strange. 

It went something like this…

the day Reni took his first steps!

Q. "So did a doctor tell you that you can't have your own kids?"

A. "No, Cydil and I decided to put our energy and finances into adoption instead of reproductive technology."

In my head I thought, "God, thank you for directing us away from months or years of doctor's appointments and potential disappointments and toward the joys and adventure of adoption.

Q. "So you could have kids of your own some day if you wanted?"

A. "If you mean biologically related kids, I suppose God could bless us with children that way too, but we feel like we already have 'kids of our own'!"

In my head I was thinking, "God called us to be parents, not to just pass on genetic material. Anyway, does any parent 'own' their child? Children are made in the image of God, not in the image of their parents. All children are really God's children and parents are simply guardians of these precious treasures of God.  Adopted children are a reminder of this fact.  Because Ellie and Reni are not biologically connected to us, we are reminded what a gift they are from God every day!  We had 'nothing' to do with their birth, yet God still prepared them for our family from the beginning!  If biological kids would make me lose this awe, I hope I never have 'kids of my own'!"

Tuesday afternoon kite flying

After a little pause and some other small chat…

Q. "Did you ask for a handicapped child?"

A. "Not directly.  We understood that there is no guarantee of a 'healthy' child in adoption, just like there is no guarantee of a 'healthy' child biologically."

In my head I considered what a wonderful blessing we would have missed if God had not broken through our self-imposed limitations as stated on our application for a 'healthy child'!  I am more and more convinced that we all are 'handicapped', only some disabilities are more visible than others.  Visible disabilities can be seen by all, and may be more intimidating, but often they are easier to work through than the hidden disabilities we all have.

Q. "Doesn't it just break your heart to see your son's disability?"

A. "Actually, knowing Reni does just the opposite.  He inspires me!"

Had I more time to respond I would have added that there is nothing more thrilling to a father's heart than to see his children succeed against the odds!  Reading Ellie's Kindergarten report card showing her  remarkable progress since January, and watching Reni take his first unassisted steps in his prosthetics, both made me cheer out loud this week! Everyday there is inspiration in my kids if I look for it!

The oldest book of the Bible, Job, records the accuser asking questions of our Heavenly Father.  I wonder if the conversation took place today if it might go something like this.

Q. "So why don't you just make your own perfect kids?"

A. "Because I love these children too much to leave them as orphans!"

Q. "When will you give up on this adoption idea and just start over?"

A. "I gave my only begotten Son so I could make these children my own!  I will bring them to my house to live with me forever!"

Q. "Don't you know that these children are handicapped?"

A. "Yes, it is the orphanage of your design that helps make them that way.  I have a plan for each of them that brings them into a forever family and ultimately heals their disabilities!"

Q. "Doesn't it just break your heart to see your children struggle in their disabilities?"

A. "Every time I see my children overcome your schemes I cheer from heaven!  I have given them the tools to defeat you, and I am there to catch them when they fall.  They may not be perfectly whole while living in your kingdom, but when they reach mine, there will be no prosthetics needed!"

~Nathan