Ne kemi ngrënë bukë bashkë ("We have eaten bread together")

When I was little, I wasn't too keen on meeting new people.  I was pretty shy, plus, my "universe" was pretty small growing up in the country and attending school in a small town.  

I was nearly paralyzed with fear attending a friend's party where there might be guests I didn't know.  The same applied to going to summer camp or visiting a friend's church -- anywhere I might be meeting new people without the security of my parents nearby.  I don't think I necessarily came across as a timid child, but inside, I definitely preferred to stick with the folks I knew.

photo from wikipedia.org

Thankfully God helped me overcome that natural tendency to fear or dread meeting new people -- partially through maturity and partially through changing schools a five times by age fifteen and giving me several jobs that involved working with the public.  Today I really enjoy making new friends and appreciate folks from different backgrounds and cultures. 

As we make a new home in Albania -- while we are have the blessing of renewing some old friendships -- we have the responsibility to make a whole lot of new relationships too. And it's work, especially in this era of "Facebook" and social media where it's easy to control what you share about yourself as well as who we meet and interact with.  The art of hospitality is being replaced with IM-ing and texting.  Who needs to get together to catch up on life over burgers when we can text while waiting for the bus or sitting in the doctor's office?  Plus, if they come over to my house, they might see that I'm not the greatest housekeeper and, well, that's just too much work and pressure, especially in light of how spotless most Albanians keep their homes.

But to move beyond making acquaintances and making a friends involves a lot of time. Then add  language and cultural barriers and well, you get the picture.  It's a new level of work unlike any we have really undertaken before.  Nothing shows us how much work we have in front of us until we try to hold a conversation with some of our Albanian friends.  Yeah.  We're just grateful this spring that we're learning how to speak in past tense -- we haven't even gotten to the point of being able to speak in the abstract language of thoughts and ideas -- yet.

Nevertheless, the longer we are here, the deeper we are growing in our relationships as well as our language.  This past weekend we had the joy of sharing meals in two different Albanian homes.  I regret I don't have a photo of the first one, but here is photo from Saturday's supper with the K family:

Over the course of one of the meals we were told that proof of the depth of one's relationship lies in the statement "Ne kemi ngrënë bukë bashkë." Or, 'We have eaten bread together."  In other words, we have shared life together -- I have been in her home and she has been in mine.  It's a beautiful statement from a culture where food was (and in some cases, still is) scarce.  It's also a humbling reminder that no number of Facebook "likes" or text messages sent substitutes for real fellowship.

So, while a lot of our relationships here are with people who have only known us within the last seven months we have been in Albania, you might understand why a visit with someone who has known us longer  (try seven years!) is a treat!  Then add the same values, common interests and language... well, conversation can flow.

Last week we were so happy to see some of our first friends that we met in the adoption world, the Ns.  I met Diana seven years ago, early into her family's first adoption journey and shortly after we returned home with Ellie. They had reached out to us through e-mail about the prospect of adoption from Albania. On a whim I invited her and and another internet/bloggy friend to come up to Kentucky to stay with us one overnight in June.  We were hosting the houseparents (at the time) of the Bethany orphanage in Tirana and who better for my internet friends to ask about Albanian adoption than those veteran missionaries!  Somehow Diana didn't think I was crazy and apparently I appeared safe enough for her to make the 5 hour trip to Wilmore and we've been friends ever since!  Since that visit I've had the blessing of staying at her home and meeting the rest of her family!

Fast forward to last week when the Diana and her husband found themselves back in Albania to complete their second adoption from this country. While we didn't get to see the whole family, we had the pleasure of sharing a couple of suppers with Diana, Sean, and their newest daughter before they returned home to the States on Saturday! What a treat!  I know we were the 'hosts' but we were really blessed by them.