Refreshed

I think it's kind of interesting that after a post about how out of control life feels during these weeks, I am writing about how I allowed myself (with Nathan's strong encouragement) to step out of the craziness for a day to attend a retreat this afternoon in Louisville on Rest and Reflection for adoptive moms.  It was such a blessing, I wish I could have brought all of my adoptive mom friends!  Talk about a place where people speak your language!  And these were all moms who love the Lord and want to raise their kids to love Him too; who know that only His healing is sufficient for the hurts of our children's past but that he can bring restoration and in the process change us too.  The retreat was a pre-cursor to the Summit VII by the Christian Alliance for Orphans, held this year in Louisville.  Unfortunately, this is the only part of the Summit that I would be able to attend, but I rode up and back with my friends Amy and Jackie, so even the time in the car was a special, blessed time!  One of the chief organizers of the women's retreat happens to be the sister-in-law to one of our former college professors and fellow church member, Dr. Steve Hillis.  THIS Dr. Hillis (Susan) is one of the leading international researchers on HIV at the CDC, and happens to have adopted 8 children from Russia!

In her introduction to the afternoon's event she shared an analogy from scripture which I had never really considered through the eyes of an adoptive parent.  Her reference point was Psalm 107 in which the psalmist remembers the rescue of the children of Israel from the captivity and slavery in Egypt by crossing through the Red Sea.  This was followed by their subsequent wandering in the desert before crossing the Jordan River into the Promised Land.  Even if you haven't adopted, you have probably seen how moving a child from a situation of abandonment or institutionalization is only the beginning of bringing them into the place of promise, rest, peace, and security within a permanent family -- that the space 'in between' the two bodies of water can be a lonely, difficult place, the journey slow and arduous, with paralyzing giants looming in the distance. But provision comes from God in doses of 'manna' to supply what we need for each day, for each fear, tantrum or meltdown.  Dr. Hillis pointed out the recurring theme in Psalm 107 that for each problem, there was a prayer uttered ("Then you called out to God in your desparate condition..."), He came through with provision, which was proceeded by praise.

The attendees were broken up into groups based on the age of our children.  Since my heart has been heavy for decisions we have to make soon for Ellie (more on that later) I chose to join the mothers of 5-9 year olds.  Our group went immediately to a room with five stations intended for each participant to have a time of quiet reflection.  Later portions of the afternoon would include a small group discussion time and another segment would feature a panel of "expert" moms.  Back in the reflection room, one of the stations was devoted to seeking a word from Scripture and Bibles were laid out under a wooden cross.  I decided to go to the Psalm just referenced by Dr. Hillis.  Before I could turn to 107, I stopped just shy of it in the latter part of Psalm 105, part of the same collection of "historical" psalms which includes the 107th.  In considering Ellie's journey from her "Egypt" to the Promised Land he has for her, I wrote these notes from Psalm 105 with her in mind:

He brought out Israel, laden with silver and gold,

He equips in abundance

   and from among their tribes no one faltered.

He grants strength/endurance

He spread out a cloud as a covering, 

He provides protection

   and a fire to give light at night.

He gives comfort/safety 

⁴⁰ They asked, and he brought them quail; 

He hears and provides for physical needs

   he fed them well with the bread of heaven. 

He gives Himself

⁴¹ He opened the rock, and water gushed out;

He revealed Himself through miracles 

   it flowed like a river in the desert.

His provision is abundant

 ⁴² For he remembered his holy promise
   given to his servant Abraham. 

He is faithful

⁴³ He brought out his people with rejoicing, 

He rescues

   his chosen ones with shouts of joy; 
⁴⁴ he gave them the lands of the nations, 
   and they fell heir to what others had toiled for— 

His blessings are undeserved

⁴⁵ that they might keep his precepts 
   and observe his laws.

So that [she] might know

   Praise the LORD.^[a

As we meet tomorrow morning with Ellie's teaching team to discuss her schooling (there are so many unknowns related to her future and the best strategies to help her reach her potential), this was a wonderful reminder that God has provided her (and us) with all our family needs.  His provision comes daily like manna for each situation that rolls our way.  As we seek further testing and evaluation this summer at Cincinnati Children's Hospital, this was a timely reminder that He is sufficient, He is trustworthy, and He has gone before us.

In ways that she understands, we try to daily communicate to her the special plan God has for her life and the joy and fulfillment we find in being a part of that plan. This historical psalms were intended to help the children of Israel remember the great and mighty ways God worked on their behalf.  The amazing thing about the word of God is how it IS so living and active to be so relevant to our personal lives today.  As I read the passage above, thanks to Dr. Hillis' analogy and the Holy Spirit, I'm reminded AGAIN of the way in which God worked so many miracles to bring Ellie (and Reni) into our family.  How can we do anything but trust the God who rescued her to hold her future in his loving and capable hands?  How has he helped you?