A father's thoughts on adoption

During these next few days when I won’t have much ‘news’ for the blog, I have decided to write some of my thoughts about what God is teaching me through the process of adoption. Hopefully this won’t just be content filler. I welcome your dialogue with me. Anyone who has talked with me in person about adoption will know that I am at no loss for words, so to keep these posts short enough that they might possibly be readable, I will try to stay on one point per post. I will also be writing mainly from the perspective of a father because that is my perspective. Know that this process is a 100% team process and without Cydil’s common heart, we wouldn’t be here now. My hope is that by the end, I will learn even more about God’s adoption heart and that the same can be said for you.

Lesson #1

God is a Pursuing Father

Did you ever consider the fact that there is no such thing as an ‘accidental’ adoption ? Adoption always requires intent and pursuit. An adoption never occurs without intentional action by the parents.

I am Wesleyan in theology, but I think sometimes my Calvinist brothers have a better grasp on this truth. If God didn’t first pursue us, we would remain orphans. It doesn’t matter how badly an orphan wants to be adopted, he or she has to rely on someone else to start the process. This doesn’t relieve the orphan of any responsibility. Any orphan old enough to choose has to decide to accept the gift of adoption. There are some that are too comfortable where they are or maybe too fearful of the unknown, and they choose to remain orphaned, but the vast majority when clearly presented with the choice, choose family. But the fact remains, without the father’s pursuit, there is no change in status from orphaned to adopted.

The human adoption process is almost always lengthy. There are months if not years of pursuit before a face or name of a particular child is identified. (I will spend another post about more of the process) But for me, the referral is the transition from the decision to pursue adoption to the pursuit of ‘my’ child! I can clearly remember the day of our referral for Elisona. Within minutes we were joyously sharing the news with family and within an hour, her picture was hanging on our fridge! 3 ½ years later, Reni’s picture hung on the same place. At this point the waiting became unbearable! We had to have them in our arms. We wanted them in our family. We would move mountains to make that happen!

But the pursuit didn’t stop there. We had to leave our comfortable home and go to where they were. We spent time earning their trust even before the legal process of the adoption was complete. But part of the pursuit is the bringing home. We would never have been content to leave them where they were. No! We are their parents, and they need to be at home with us! And even then the pursuit doesn’t stop. As all good fathers, it is my desire for my children to continue to grow and reach their full potential. We rejoice with every milestone Ellie reaches. There was a period of time when Ellie entering Kindergarten at age 5 looked doubtful, but on August 11^th Ellie starts her new school with her peers – Glory to God! Reni has his own challenges ahead, but we have already seen God’s hand at work in him and know that He has a special plan for our boy!

In the divine reality of our adoption into the family of God, God chose immediately to pursue. God’s first words to Adam and Eve after the fall were “Where are you?” He was pursuing them. Christ left his home to come to earth and become flesh so he could pursue us. But even more amazing to me is that His pursuit is not just a general pursuit, He is pursuing us each individually! He has YOUR referral picture on His fridge! If you are reading this blog and you haven’t been adopted into God’s family yet, He is pursuing you! Maybe even through this blog post! He is longing for you to say ‘yes’ to Him and accept His gift of adoption! If you have been adopted into the family, praise Jesus, but he doesn’t want to leave any of us where we are! He celebrates with each step we take in becoming more like Him.

Thank you God for your pursuit of me! It is my position as your son that gives me the ability to pursue Ellie and Reni. Help them to early know Your pursuit of them as well! - Amen