Not a Trubute, but a Tribute

For the last several days my heart has wanted to compose a tribute to my dad.  My mind, however, stands in a state of paralysis, with no logical place to start.  Where does one begin to write about a parent?  One of the greatest influencers on an individual's life?

So I have put it off and chosen to simply wait.  As I have waited, as we have worked on details of this upcoming week, as we have heard from people who knew Dad and were touched by him, the words are starting to come but are still not ready.

While I have heard (and believed) that illness is a mercy (giving us the gift of time to say goodbye, to prepare ourselves for this loss), illness has also colored and clouded our memories.  Dad changed.  He lost his vitality, his laughter, his mannerisms, his way with words.  And so I started to forget.  Initially, his passing was a mercy, a relief that he was no longer suffering.  I felt a bit narcotized against the grief of our loss.

But through the gift of community and family, our memories of Dad are returning to those former times. As word of his passing has spread, we are receiving texts, e-mails, and instant messages from around the world and reminders of lives he touched.  Browsing old photographs and reading those messages are rebuilding the image of him in our minds of who he used to be, and the numbness is starting to fade.

In spite of that initial 'relief' that Dad's suffering was over and the sense that he had really left us much earlier, I could not escape the striking awareness of his physical absence once his body was taken away on Sunday. Though the person of Dad who has been occupying this home was just a shadow of the man we all remembered, when that shadow left two days ago, its absence was still inescapable.

Ellie commented yesterday, "I miss hearing the sounds of Gjysh's shuffling feet," as she proceeded to rub her hands on the tablecloth, imitating the rough, rhythmic scratchings of his familiar tread.  We all laughed and I was grateful for her shared memory.

Meanwhile, staying here at Mom and Dad's house, I am reminded of him at every turn, surrounded by his special spaces and belongings. 

While an empty bed, a pair of sunglasses on the dashboard, a basket of ball caps are all reminders of Dad, he was so much more than a collection his 'things.'

He was a grandpa (called Gjysh) who read stories and strove to create memories for his grandchildren.
He was a loyal son and grandson who valued family history and honored his elders.
He was an avid student and reader, collecting books and absorbing truth until near the very end.
He was a Dad who signed off all his letters and e-mails to his daughters with RYB, BYT, & SYP (read your Bible, brush your teeth, and say your prayers).  His scripts also included, "Be a peacemaker" and "God always keeps His promises."
He was a friend who teased and joked and remembered your interests.
He was a farmer who shared his equipment with a neighbor and strove to have the cleanest, straightest rows of crops.
He was a husband who loved his wife shamelessly, faithfully, and bought her special gifts.
He was a missionary who fell in love with a people and a culture quite different yet complementary to his own, coming as the 'expert farmer', leaving as a student and a friend.
Most importantly, he was a child of God who lived every day thinking in terms of its impact on eternity.

That is what I want to remember, record, and express.

So I will continue to wait for the words to come to honor the man who I was blessed to call Dad, who gave me my nose, my sentimental heart and a love for ketchup --from whom I see mirrored my inescapable need to work hard, not waste time, and win the approval of others, but who also shaped my view of life and love and my heavenly Father in all the best ways.  He was a man who supported and affirmed me in ways I can't begin to describe, gently pointing out my faults and encouraging me in the ways I should go.

I've been so blessed to call him Dad.

Psalm 16:5-11
GOD’S WORD Translation (GW)

⁵ The Lord is my inheritance and my cup.
    You are the one who determines my destiny.
⁶     Your boundary lines mark out pleasant places
  for me.

  Indeed, my inheritance is something beautiful.

⁷ I will praise the Lord, who advises me.
    My conscience warns me at night.
⁸ I always keep the Lord in front of me.
    When he is by my side, I cannot be moved.
⁹  That is why my heart is glad and my soul
   rejoices.
            My body rests securely
¹⁰  because you do not abandon my soul to the grave or allow your holy one to decay.
¹¹ You make the path of life known to me.
    Complete joy is in your presence.
        Pleasures are by your side forever.

May Highlights

Springtime means more outdoor time, which means more time to look for and catch critters.  Ellie and Reni take this job seriously and usually get some help from their neighborhood friends...

The kids were proud to show me this slithery fella whom they told me was NOT a snake, but rather a 'legless lizard.'  It still looks like a snake to me...

 Spring rains brought lots of growth.  Apparently to Reni's head too because he seems to always be in need of a hair cut.  Below he's showing off his most recent 'do.

Below the English conversation group practices giving directions to Nathan so he can navigate an obstacle course blindfolded.

I really am not a big 'sweets' person, but really?  As if a candy bar was not enough?  Do you have these in America too?

To accompany the account of Enoch, we did this craft which reads "Walk with God."

One day while we were in Tirana Ellie ordered this fruit pizza with nutella sauce for her lunch.  It was too pretty not to photograph.  She generously shared with the rest of us.

During our weekly trips to Tirana I've been trying to slowly clean out my Dad's belongings from the Planters apartment.  In the course of cleaning his desk I came upon this, the boarding pass for his last trip to Albania.  After consulting with Mandi, we don't think it's an exaggeration to estimate he made at least 50 trips to Albania between January 1993 and November 2015.

Below, one evening at church Nathan demonstrated a principle through a simple magic trick.

This little guy next to Nathan is TOO adorable.  For one, when he speaks, it sounds like he's just sucked on helium.  Secondly, he's totally friendly and photogenic.  Below, they are engaged in a game of "copy cat."

Noah's ark!  Eda taught, just like the cross was/is a means of salvation, so was the ark to anyone who believed...

One Sunday after church we had the treat of reconnecting with a friend who returned to Albania briefly on business.  For mother's day everyone humored my request to try a new-to-us restaurant outside of town.  Although it was quite busy, the setting was lovely and the food very good!

Reni and Ellie had preferred playing with the lizard who called the space under our table 'home.'

 May also brings some of our favorite fruits into season!  We made fruit parfaits with friends over for a visit!

One of the pastors of our home church in Lexington came for a stop over on his way to Africa.  While the kids were in school and Nathan had a board meeting in Tirana, we did a quick walking tour of the heart of the city.

We visited a temporary exhibit of the Albanian national archives where we got to see special documents like the one below, the Purple Codex of Berat.  It is a 5th-century copy of the Gospels written in silver ink on purple parchment.  Rumor has it that Hitler was on the search for it to add to his personal collection of religious relics during the time that Germany occupied Albania. 

We also visited the House of Leaves, a museum depicting the intelligence efforts of the previous government's to collect information on its citizenry.  This exhibit, too, was free of charge in honor of some historical celebrations taking place here during some weeks in May.  It was good timing to play tourist and see some new-to-me sites!

I've noticed this past year that Reni has grown more confident in his interactions with the neighbor kids apart from us, occasionally joining them outside the center which is great!  He's growing up!

Kerry shared a wonderful message at church based on three parables...

After the service we were blessed with a full, double rainbow!  That may be the last time it rained here as of this publish date!

Nathan and Pastor Kerry visited an Albanian Orthodox service Sunday morning, followed by lunch with some mutual friends in town.  Then we went up to Petrela Castle for cold drinks to show him a bit of Albania's older ruins...

It's also a prime photo spot because of its position on top of a mountain.  Here are some of my favorites...

 Spending time with some of my favorite girls... This game (SkyJo) is highly addictive.  It's sort of like the game 'Golf' which you can play with traditional playing cards.  Lots of time spent with...

On the 23rd, the Booker family arrived for a visit to Albania!

The kids are always utterly excited to see friends from home...

School continued and Miss Pam outdid herself with cool crafts as the year came to an end...

Temperatures started rising as we reached the end of the month.  Reni discovered the swim bag and enjoyed the perch of our 2nd floor living room window to 'surprise' guests with a hit of water...

And May is also a time we say 'goodbye' to many dear friends in the missionary community.  While we are not in Tirana so often anymore, we still have some special friends there, including these sisters who are leaving Albania for university in the States next fall.  They will be dearly missed...  You may not be able to tell, but Ellie's eyes were quite red.

Finally, the photo below symbolizes a lot of prep work that went into getting ready for a summer of guests in the village.  We put up a number of dinner entrees in the deep freezer and rented this vacant home in the village as a guest house for the various teams and individual volunteers who will be coming to serve alongside us!  Hopefully the next post will re-cap our week with a wonderful team of friends from Illinois who left Monday...Happy Summer, everyone!